posted 03/17/2012
Lost in the Sticks: Coaching Girls is Different Than Coaching Boys
Andy Podolsky - March 9th, 2012 - 8:06 AM EST
Article available at: http://insidelacrosse.com/ilwomen/news/2012/03/09/lost-sticks-coaching-girls-different-coaching-boys
This month’s topic: Coaching boys is different from coaching girls. Your response should be “thanks Captain Obvious;” but you’d be amazed how many first time coaches still cling to old stereotypes without realizing it.
It’s a discussion I overhear a lot – in boardrooms, on playing fields, in classrooms, everywhere. Too many well-meaning coaches still say things like “Girls need more coddling,” or “You can’t yell at girls,” or “You’ve got to teach girls aggression because they just aren’t naturally competitive.” None of these is true. Well, maybe the yelling one is – I’ve found parents and kids alike take a rather dim view of grown men screaming at tweens who are giggling too much.
“The most common problem I see is men trying to use the same techniques they learned playing with or coaching men, on women,” points out Anson Dorrance, head coach of the University of North Carolina women’s soccer team for the last 33 years.
Listing Coach Dorrance’s credentials would take up the rest of my column space, but for starters, he has a 715-39-24 record, has won 21 national championships, and was the head coach of the U.S. Women’s National Team from 1986-94 (including its 1991 World Cup Gold Medal team). Sports Illustrated On Campus magazine once named UNC's women's soccer program the greatest college dynasty of all-time.
But what is far more interesting to me is that he also coached the Carolina men’s team from 1976–1987, an overlap that had him overseeing both teams for about eight years.
The guy has written books (which I highly recommend), had movies made about him and fits in about 50 speaking engagement a year, so trying to sum up his advice is a bit of a challenge. On a recent phone call he passed on some advice for new coaches of girls’ teams (regardless of the sport):
1) Tone and Trust are critical.
“You can’t just scream at them,” warns Dorrance. Aside: See – I told you. “Women often don’t hear what you say as much as your tone. If your tone is aggressive they will think you are angry or upset and tune out. They have to believe you want them to succeed.”
Dorrance acknowledges that he can be tough on his players, and that other coaches sometimes mistakenly try to emulate his style.
“I’m in the unique position of coaching world-class players that come (to Chapel Hill) expecting to be held to a high standard and are already highly driven athletes. What you don’t see, is all the time I spend developing trust. Only then can I get away with being as blunt as I am.”
So, if you are an amateur coach of a girls’ team, you have a long way to go in establishing trust with your players and probably need to tone down the “tough love,” at least for awhile. Kicking a trashcan across the room can work great to motivate a men’s team. Women are far more likely to see through it as a silly act and glean nothing more from your “motivation” than that you bear a striking resemblance to a three-year-old throwing a temper tantrum.
2) Remember the social aspect.
“With boys, my advice is to get to practice early and make damn sure you have enough balls for them to kick around as an outlet for their energy,” suggested Dorrance. But with women, that pre-game/practice period is critical social time. “Women have a superior understanding that their relationships can be more important than the competition.”
That doesn’t mean women want to win less or are less competitive, but are far less likely to lose perspective during games and tend to see the bigger picture.
“You have to appreciate that there’s a social aspect to it - if you make it one dimensionally athletic, you’ll lose some tremendous athletes.” He recalls coming across a high-energy stretching routine, and excitedly bringing it to his women’s team as a pre-game ritual to get his team amped up. It failed miserably. He had disturbed his team’s pre-game rituals – including splitting off in small groups and catching up socially while they prepared - a huge factor in fostering trust and teamwork. Don’t mess with this ritual: build 10 minutes in for it at the beginning of practice/warm up.
3) Acknowledge women’s superiority.
They simply seem to be stronger team players and tend to follow the rules better. There is a school of thought that says men freelance better and make room for stand-out players that don’t play by the rules more. But if you are looking for consistent, teamwork-oriented play that de-emphasizes the importance of individual players, women seem to have an advantage.
“The way women lead is more effective at times,” points out Dorrance. “It’s not just a willingness, but desire to connect with everyone they can in a very caring way – and that tends to lead to more selfless play.” When Dorrance analyzed game tape of breakdowns that led to opponents scoring with the men’s team, every guy pointed to someone else when he asked “who didn’t do their job.” Even when one individual clearly dropped an assignment. When responding to the same question to the women’s team, not only did the beaten player raise her hand, but three other teammates did too, with explanations like “she was out of because she was covering for me being late getting back, so it’s my fault,” or “I didn’t back her up effectively.” Big difference.
“I’m not saying men are better, or women or better,” Dorrance explained, “they’re just different, and you have to manage them differently.”
Easy to say, but much more difficult to adjust your style to recognize those differences and execute. Good luck. I’d love to hear your experiences and comments.
Andy Podolsky lives in Wilmington, DE with his wife and two daughters and is looking forward to standing on lacrosse fields for the next two months yelling about the importance of ground balls.
